To the tune of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" from The Sound of Music
With special thanks to Dawn and Eruwestial! Without their "Feanor Facts" this Filk would not have been possible (or indeed likely).
With special thanks to Dawn and Eruwestial! Without their "Feanor Facts" this Filk would not have been possible (or indeed likely).
and heavy burdens bear.
He balks against authority
yet faces every dare.
And when a theft did leave its mark
did oaths from kindred swear.
I even heard he battled with a Balrog!
He’s always stubborn to a fault
with heartfelt passions real.
Pig-headed about everything
yet filled with depthless zeal.
And though I hate to say it
I very firmly feel
Fëanor’s not an asset to the Noldor.
Still, I’d like to say a word on his behalf:
Feanor’s a master at his craft!
How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch his pride and nail it down?
How do you find a word that means Fëanor?
Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown?
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch a firebrand in your hand?
When I’m near him, I’m enflamed
he’s delightful and untamed
and I never know exactly what he’ll do.
Unpredictable as weather,
he’s as flighty as a feather.
He’s a craftsman! He’s a kinslayer! He’s aloof!
He’s impetuous at best
whether working or at rest.
He could drive us all to madness soon as not!
He’s devoted! He is wild!
He’s a puzzle! He is riled!
He’s a menace! He’s a savior!
He is HOT!
How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch his pride and nail it down?
How do you find a word that means Fëanor?
Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown?
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch a firebrand in your hand?