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9
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Feanor?

To the tune of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" from The Sound of Music

With special thanks to Dawn and Eruwestial! Without their "Feanor Facts" this Filk would not have been possible (or indeed likely).


~~~

He crafts fine jewels, yet breaks the rules
and heavy burdens bear.
He balks against authority
yet faces every dare.
And when a theft did leave its mark
did oaths from kindred swear.
I even heard he battled with a Balrog!

Hes always stubborn to a fault
with heartfelt passions real.
Pig-headed about everything
yet filled with depthless zeal.
And though I hate to say it
I very firmly feel
Fanors not an asset to the Noldor.

Still, Id like to say a word on his behalf:
Feanors a master at his craft!

How do you solve a problem like Fanor?
How do you catch his pride and nail it down?
How do you find a word that means Fanor?
Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown?

Many a thing you know youd like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

How do you solve a problem like Fanor?
How do you catch a firebrand in your hand?

When Im near him, Im enflamed
hes delightful and untamed
and I never know exactly what hell do.
Unpredictable as weather,
hes as flighty as a feather.
Hes a craftsman! Hes a kinslayer! Hes aloof!

Hes impetuous at best
whether working or at rest.
He could drive us all to madness soon as not!
Hes devoted! He is wild!
Hes a puzzle! He is riled!
Hes a menace! Hes a savior!
He is HOT!

How do you solve a problem like Fanor?
How do you catch his pride and nail it down?
How do you find a word that means Fanor?
Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown?

Many a thing you know youd like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

How do you solve a problem like Fanor?
How do you catch a firebrand in your hand?

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