Wanting to be there for his great friend and future father-in-law on the anniversary of his wife’s death, Éomer had ridden hard from Hobbiton the previous day to catch Imrahil before he sailed down the Brandywine to the open sea. He had with great hope sensed a new feeling of ease and calm within the family and especially within his friend Imrahil, in such contrast to the strained atmosphere that had inexplicably developed between his Rohirric family. He looked to Lothíriel for answers first.
‘I fear she is with child, Éomer,’ she told him confidentially. ‘I do not know for sure. She won’t talk to Gallend, nor even Hadán when he tries to broach the subject with her. She has been wan, uncharacteristically tired and even vomited this morning. Assa is never sick. Hadán is not sure she understands how women become with child…’
‘Lothíriel, she grew up in the breeding grounds of Sennebar, she must know how children come into being,’ Éomer said reasonably, interrupting her.
‘Yes, indeed,’ Lothíriel agreed, ‘but not if she doesn’t think of herself as being the same as those women, and she doesn’t. Hadán believes she doesn’t even think of herself as being female at all. The usual rules have never applied to her, in anything, so I think she is struggling to come to terms with this in ways we find difficult to understand. He is very worried and is concerned she will do herself harm in some way. He has asked if I will speak with her. It is only because he told her that he had great need of her that she agreed to return with us and not with Turallien’s escort, as she wanted.’
‘The Éored is meeting us this evening at the fork in the Greenway, they have set up camp there to wait for us. It should give you both time to be alone together as you will be sharing a tent, assuming she doesn’t slip off to sleep with Gallend, although that seems unlikely given what you have said…’
‘Will I have to be proper now and not sleep with you until we are married?’ she said delicately stroking his cheek. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her gently.
‘The closer we are to the date, the harder I am finding it not to take you fully, but I have spent much of the last nine months preparing a birthday surprise for you and I want to wait until you are with me on our marriage bed in the Elven Pools. It is not long now. But I do not want to sleep apart from you. We will see, but we must be more discreet. Come, we should go.’
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While Gallend and Éomer ate together with the rest of the Éored, Lothíriel had no trouble persuading Assa to eat with her alone in their tent. Assa was distinctly uncommunicative, but Lothíriel had a strategy of engagement.
‘I don’t want to dwell on Turallien, Assa, but I would appreciate your thoughts on what should happen now. What you feel would constitute justice, over mere vengeance. I have asked that it is not my family that decides his ultimate fate as vengeance would be uppermost in our hearts. I believe Aragorn will be fair…’
Assa shifted in her seat and snorted her disagreement. ‘He is a man of honour. Such men do not understand men like Turallien. I like your approach. You understood that depriving him of status and an audience would hurt him far more, a greater punishment than the quick death Aragorn is likely to grant him. He shouldn’t have a quick death. That would not be justice to all those he tortured. I know what he deserves,’ she said darkly.
‘What would you do, Assa?’ Lothíriel enquired innocently.
‘Firstly, I would poison him with a potion made from Zathar roots, which would give him the sensation of burning internally. And then I would take him to an underground cistern I know of and tie him naked up to his neck in the water and leave him there for a few days until he is dead,’ she answered.
‘It would take more than a few days for him to starve to death, wouldn’t it?’ Lothíriel asked curiously.
‘Oh, he wouldn’t be alone in the cistern…’
Lothíriel looked at her questioningly.
‘I found out that this is how he had Hannestor killed. Unadan spoke to one of Turallien’s guards while they were preparing for the sacrificial rites. It seems that Herumor liked to boast of what Turallien had done to his grandfather. He mentioned a particular fish that is found much further south beyond Far Harad, which eats human flesh. It’s important to only have one, so it doesn’t have to compete for food. That way it will take its time. That would be justice to my mind.’ Lothíriel shuddered at the description, but she nodded her agreement nevertheless.
‘Will you come to our wedding, Assa? I would very much like you there. I understand it’s not something you enjoy but it wouldn’t feel right without you there. Without you, there would be no wedding.’
Assa looked sick and Lothíriel thought she might vomit.
‘Are you quite well, Assa? Are you going to be sick again?’
Assa looked up sharply. ‘What do you mean, again?’
‘You have not been looking yourself lately. Have you considered that you might be with child? Éomer and I have been careful to avoid this, there are ways of doing so, if you would like me to explain?’ Lothíriel moved quickly to hold a bowl in front of Assa as she vomited violently into it.
‘What is happening to me? I don’t want a child. I can’t have one. I cannot look after it.’ Assa sounded panicked.
‘It’s alright,’ soothed Lothíriel, ‘it’s alright, Assa. You wouldn’t need to look after it, I promise you. Would you let me examine you and I will be able to tell you whether you are or not? It’s best to know. Do you have regular monthly bleeds?’ Assa looked appalled. ‘You do know what I am referring to, don’t you, Assa?’
‘Why do I have to suffer these? Men don’t have this problem. They are too much of an inconvenience. I hate them.’
‘No, men don’t, but we are not men, Assa. We are designed to bear children, this is what makes us different from men.’
‘But I am like Hadán, only he doesn’t have to bear children.’
‘Hadán is more male than female, Assa, and you are all female, like me. We are not like Hadán,’ Lothíriel told her emphatically. She sighed and took Assa’s unwilling hand in her own. ‘I don’t like the fact that I was born weaker than men, I don’t like the fact that it was too easy for a man to rape me, that men assume I am more stupid and less capable than them just because I am a woman. But Éomer is not like most men, nor is Gallend. Believe me, if Éomer could take away from me the inconvenience of childbirth, he would, because he loves me. And as I love him so very much, I will have his children, because of the two of us, only I can. I can do something precious and special for us that he cannot. It takes a far greater strength than any man possesses to carry a child inside you and give life to it. It is how we show our strength to men. I am not going to pretend to you, Assa, that childbirth is easy and painless. It is not, but it is generally over relatively quickly.’
‘I am not afraid of the pain. But I will not lumber myself with a squalling baby. I cannot do it. I would…’ Assa was becoming distressed and heated. Lothíriel lay a calming hand on her.
‘We will look after it for you. Gallend, Hadán, Genting, Éomer and I. You will not need to do anything if you do not want to. You know we will all look after it. Would you allow me at least to see what we are dealing with?’
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Lothíriel walked slowly over to the fire around which many of the Éored were gathered swapping stories, or listening to ballads, and sought out Gallend. He was sitting with Éomer, who was looking very serious and saddened. They both looked up as she approached them. Gallend stood up as she smiled at him first indicating she had news to impart. She took him aside.
‘I would estimate that she is between three to four months with child, Gallend. She understands the import of this and has accepted it. I have reassured her that we will all look after it so that she does not have to, but you should go to her now. She is very upset. Stay with her, I will sleep in my brother’s tent tonight.’ She lay an encouraging hand on his arm as he thanked her and left to comfort his beloved. She looked over to Hadán who was watching closely, and she nodded to him before taking Gallend’s place next to Éomer.
‘So?’ he asked first.
She looked lovingly at him and smiled. ‘I think the first addition to our extended household will arrive late-spring, unless…?’ she raised an enquiring eyebrow.
‘Aye, it looks like we will have one arriving sooner than that,’ he answered still absorbing the information Gallend had just told him. ‘When did you find out?’ he asked her.
‘Hadán told me a few days ago,’ she admitted. ‘He only told me because he thought it would make it easier for Assa if Gallend’s son was with us. He asked if I would raise the prospect with Gallend of making a small detour on our way back to pick him up in Dunland and bring him to the wedding. It might be a good opportunity to introduce him to the other lords of Rohan, discreetly of course.’
Éomer reached out to draw her closer to him and she rested her head on his broad shoulders.
‘I suggested the very same thing,’ he said wrapping an arm around her. ‘A goodwill visit to Leofric’s court would be timely and I wished to invite him to the wedding, now this foul business is over. He would have thought it odd to be invited to celebrate Yule with us, but a wedding…’
‘I would very much like Leofric to come and Gandlend’s family of course. Gallend was lucky to have found Dolfin such good foster parents. Gandlend proved himself an astute diplomat after the battle in Dunland, a worthy foster brother for him, and already known and respected by many of your men. They should come together,’ she suggested.
Éomer smiled his agreement of her wise counsel which matched his own instincts.
He was at peace for the first time he could remember since that dreadful day when his father had been taken from them. His fears for the future had abated. His future was nestling in his embrace and looking up to him inquisitively.
‘Gallend’s tent is closest to yours, is it not?’ she enquired slyly.
‘Yes, why?’ he asked knowing exactly why she was asking.
‘Well, I thought perhaps, it would be easier if you gave that to Amrothos instead…’ He smiled down at her and replied, ‘I think that can be arranged, my love.’