It is over. Sauron is done, finished, caput, goodbye! And yet, all is not right with the world. Apparently everybody’s favorite Noldorin crackpot wrote a letter to the ill-tempered pretty boy Elf King of Mirkwood, informing him of a certain law suit and urging him to do likewise. So of course, not thinking for himself as usual, Thranduil sent me a telegram:
King of Greenwood
Pay dearly? Oh Elf King, have you asked for it this time…
by Morgoth Bauglir
Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli go into the Other Place and meet a girl, named Linde. She immediately falls in love with Legolas, although she tries to fight it. He is attracted to her too, but he tries to fight it too, since he believes her to be Aragorn’s long lost daughter, and a mortal. Every time they are together they get in a fight.
Finally they are overcome with desire, and Legolas passionately kisses her in her house. He stops himself and Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli go back to Middle Earth. Linde is very upset, but she ends up in Middle Earth and is found by elves who bring her to Rivendell. Elrond tells her that she is Aragorn’s daughter. She turns out to be his great-granddaughter. She meets a messenger from Rohan, who tells her that Aragorn and Gimli are very happy that she is there, but Legolas doesn’t say anything. She gets mad, but since she is Aragorn’s granddaughter she wants to see him and talk to him so she rides to Rohan.
When she gets there, they have lost Aragorn, and think he’s dead, but she knows he’s not dead because she’s from the Other Place. She comforts Legolas who is upset over the loss of his friend and he kisses her, but they end up fighting again. She goes into the caves for the battle, where she sees Eowyn. After the battle, Legolas realizes he loves her, and they are about to get it on, but Linde falls asleep. Afterwards, she has lunch with Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas and she meets the king, Eomer and Eowyn. After lunch Gimli presses her for details about what happened with her and Legolas, but Aragorn smoothly intervenes. Legolas and her fight again because nothing happens.
Meanwhile, Eomer, who has fallen instantly in love with her, tries to make a move on her and it doesn’t bother Legolas, which makes them fight again. She becomes friends with Eowyn.
They go to Edoras and Linde gets really drunk. She and Legolas finally have “their moment” and it is the most beautiful thing ever. After that, she rides with them to Dunharrow, where Eomer kisses her, and Eowyn gets mad at her because of it. She rides back to Homely Home with Elrond, where she meets his spawn.
Once Sauron’s pansy jewelry is destroyed, she goes to Gondor where she sees Legolas and Eomer again. Legolas is still not jealous because he must have inherited some psychoses from his father. She might want to go home to the Other Place, but she also loves Legolas. Eomer urges her to stay too. They crown Aragorn their little king and she sees Legolas looking breathtaking. (Apparently psychoses are not the only thing he inherited.) Gratuitous Love Scene. (A/N: Well, maybe not gratuitous; I had to take a cold shower after I saw him at that coronation thing…) Legolas is infected with Sea Longing, so Linde freaks out and goes home to the Other Place.
Legolas comes to find her and they live happily ever after. In the Other Place. Far far away from Thranduil. And Thranduil never gets to see his precious son again.