Note from Arandil: Words with -- -- around them were crossed out in the original notebook.
First letter Ė Oropher blathering on about his son being a warrior and not a lust object Ė oh look, heís dead nowÖpityÖtore the letter up.
Second letter Ė Sauron blathering on about who knows what (I canít honestly say that I read it) Ė oh look, heís dead nowÖpityÖtore the letter up.
One letter left to open and read. Iím honestly touched that he continues to write. Itís so nice to be thought of while Iím out here in the Void. In honor of his oh-so-kindness, and in honor of the fact that Sauron and his ring-junkie minions finally got what they had coming to them, I have a new story idea:
Shadow of the Past
by Morgoth Bauglir
Story is set in the very beginning of this new Age. (I donít even have to kill Sauron off in this one Ė heís already dead!). Thranduil has returned to Greenwood, but has not taken up the throne, because prince sounds so much --hotter-- better than king. So Prince Thranduil is mourning the death of his father when he meets a strange elf.
Aegnor comes across Thranduil sitting in a clearing, his shining golden hair cascading down his shoulders and hiding his face. Aegnor calls out to him and Thranduil looks up and when he does Aegnor is struck by how beautiful his face is, even though it is suffused with grief. Thranduil notices Aegnorís good looks as well, but also realizes immediately that this elf is slightly deranged, from the psychotic fire burning in his eyes.
Thranduil asks what one of the Noldor is doing in his wood, and Aegnor tells him that he has just returned from Mandos, where he has spent the last two ages. He sympathizes with Thranduil, since his father was killed too. --The only difference is, when Thranduilís mother died, Thranduilís father didnít run out and bed the next elleth to come along.--
--The only difference is, Thranduilís father didnít have it coming to him--
--The only difference is, when Oropher died, Thranduil didnít lose his marbles, swear revenge, and take some stupid oath.--
(Note: figure out some minor difference that will not get you sued.)
Thranduil is struck with how similar he and Aegnor are. Aegnor is struck by how very attracted he is to Thranduil, and who can blame him. Thranduil is looking for comfort, and although under normal circumstances this would not happen, he finds it in Aegnor. They have a wild affair, which allows Thranduil to forget about all his problems. But once he comes to terms with his grief, Thranduil realizes what he has done, and tells Aegnor to leave Greenwood immediately, since Thranduil canít stand to be around him any more.
Since Aegnor is such a head case, he kills himself over this. Thranduil realizes that he loves Aegnor, and goes and marries his niece, Galadriel after killing off Celeborn. They become King and Queen of Greenwood and have a son who is even more beautiful than Thranduil. They name him Lasgalen, which means green leaf; because thatís the idiotic kind of name wood-elves seem to give their kids.
Aegnor ends up in the Void and not Mandos because he killed himself. There he meets his soul mate and lives happily ever after.