Who knew they delivered mail here, in the Void? I certainly did not. But apparently they do, because I received three letters Ė one with a postmark from Greenwood, one from Mordor AND one from Mandos. (Gee Ė I wonder who that one is from.) The only thing I donít understand is how they knew... Who here could have sent them copies of these story ideas?
Anyhow, after I get this story idea written down, the letters should make for interesting reading while Iím laughing at Sauron. Heís really done it this time. I knew the attack on Gondor was a bad idea. All the self-righteous elves AND men of Middle Earth Ė who apparently have nothing better to do with their lives Ė have finally decided to fight back. They currently have his pathetic little fortress under siege. This should be good.
Donít drop your precious little ring, Sauron. You know the one you so cleverly tied all your power to...
Sauronís Downfall Part II: The Spawn of Sauron
by Morgoth Bauglir
Sauron has a daughter named Melliel. The story will not get into how or with whom, because that is just too disgusting to even think about. This daughter has beautiful red hair and striking green eyes. She obviously gets her looks from her mother because she is beautiful.
On her eleventh birthday, she receives a letter from a place called Hogwarts that Sauron has never heard of. He tries to destroy the letter, but since it has old magic, he is destroyed. The orcs throw a party.
Melliel goes to Hogwarts where she becomes friends with Hermione and Ron. Harry, however, wants nothing to do with her. She canít understand why, since his two best friends are friends with her. She gets sorted into Slytherin, which is the house that is the rivals of the house that Harry & Friends are in.
Harry feels all alone because everyone thinks he is the one killing everyone. Melliel goes and comforts him, because she knows what it is like to feel alone, being the daughter of the least well-liked villain of all time. They bond and are almost about to kiss when Ron bursts in. Harry and Ron go to confront the giant snake that is really killing everyone and Melliel is very upset because she fears she will never see Harry again, who she has fallen in love with.
They return, triumphant, and Harry realizes that the reason he wouldnít talk to Melliel is because he was in love with her too, but she canít stay there, so he comes back to Mordor with her, and they get married and rule Middle Earth, destroying the Valar and freeing everybody from the Void who is in there.
Iím watching Harry Potter: Chamber of Secrets on HBO, which is where I got the inspiration for this story. It is far more interesting than watching a whole bunch of men and elves standing around staring at that black spike Sauron has the gall to call a fortress.