So, a few of the Orcs got their hands on my notebook, and I just wanted to write down FOR THE RECORD that last story idea was NOT a self-insert. My name is ďMorgothĒ Ė the character was ďMargathĒ Ė different! Plus, I live in Angband, not Argbund. Plus, I would NEVER have anything to do with that arrogant, self-righteous, stuck-up, Noldorin prince that calls himself FŽanor. Never. I would, however, kill Sauron. But still, that doesnít make it a self-insert.
Anyway, they gave me a few samples of stories, so now I have a better idea of how to write this stuff. I think I am growing as a writer. I had this idea while torturing our latest captive. I had to write it down so I wasnít distracted during my daily torture sessions.
by Morgoth Bauglir
A beautiful elf maiden falls into Sauronís incapable and dim-witted hands. Not knowing what to do with her, he puts her in the dungeon, but the bleakness of his horrid stench-filled dungeon only serves to magnify her beauty. Sauron quickly becomes smitten with the beautiful elf girl, whose name is Lirinen. She has emerald green eyes and deep chestnut hair.
Sauron tells the girl of his feelings, but she, of course, wants nothing to do with him, since he is ugly and vile. She tells him that she would rather marry all the orcs than spend another minute with him. Dejected, Sauron goes and cries in his room, like the little baby that he is.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Sauron, Lirinenís father FŽanor (yes, that FŽanor), comes to Angband to look for her. (He somehow escapes Mandos). He finds her, and she tells him about Sauron having a crush on her. Rather than rescue her, FŽanor decides to have a little fun, and replaces Sauronís shampoo with purple hair dye. (Not that the stinky wretch ever takes a shower). That night just happened to be the one day a year that Sauron decided to take a shower, and his hair turns purple. He catches FŽanor, and ties him up next to his daughter.
They stay there for a few days, but Sauron, being a nitwit, leaves the keys to the dungeon in the dungeon after getting very drunk. (A/N: Angbandís brew kicks ass!) FŽanor is able to escape, and he brings his daughter with him. They run from Angband, but get caught by Glaurung, who falls madly in love with Lirinen because she is just so beautiful. He spares FŽanor's life, since heís in love with his daughter, and they stay and live with Glaurung for a little while, until Sauron figures out where they are.
Sauron unwisely decides to try and rescue his love, and goes after Lirinen. Glaurung breathes fire on him, until he is burnt to a crisp and then FŽanor digs a hole and buries him. Nobody misses him, not even the orcs.
Eventually, it is time for FŽanor to go home, but he decides to go and live in Angband to be close to his daughter.
There. Iím not anywhere in the story at all.