Tolkien Fan Fiction
Tolkien Fan Fiction
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B2MeM 2012 stories
By:Dwimordene
24
Expediency

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B2MeM Challenge: B15: Deep thoughts: immortality; Economy: taxation; Four words: exception, hospitality, sell, publish; Magic and Real: Broad and Alien is the World - Ciro Alegria

Format: Drabble
Genre: Crack strong enough to kill a horse
Rating: M – probably not safe for adults, particularly adults with some sort of respect for the American political process and its players.
Warnings: Political humor of the controversial type at the expense of artistry, RPF, schadenfreude (I admit it), LACE abuse, intense moralism
Characters: OFC, Newt Gingrich
Pairings:* Romney/Gingrich, Gingrich/Santorum, Politicians/Planned Parenthood, Crack/My brain
Summary: This fic brought to you by the 6th Age Elves for a Better Tomorrow on Wednesday. **

Notes: For this to make sense, you really have to know I wrote this drabble.

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Expediency

“… so, provided you don’t sell or publish records, Rick’ll introduce legislation favorably altering taxation policies governing entities of this type.”

Aulendis (“Allie” in this Age) endured Newt’s passive-aggressive horse-trading and sweaty anxiety, thinking, Broad and alien is the world of Men! Irony this bizarre made immortality worthwhile, though professional hospitality replied: “Patient confidentiality suffers no exceptions, Mr. Gingrich. Sign here.”

Men and their birth-control issues, she thought later. For Elves, it was simple – just will no children and enjoy! Hence her career: really, she pitied Men.

Though perhaps, she thought, filing the Gingrich-Romney embryotomy under ‘Jane Johns Doe,’ not today…

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* No politicians, real or imaginary, were harmed in the writing of this drabble. And though I’m sure half of these guys are in bed with each other and that their policies are abortions of reason, I in no way think such phrases are literal claims, and neither should any of their representatives, fans, or lawyers.

** I love you, Stephen, enough to keep minimal, legal distance between us.