The Ailos and "Sunny" story - okay, now where?

By:Dwimordene
 June, 28 2011


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In 2009, I wrote "Beyond the Pale," about two teenaged recruits who abandoned Pelargir. One was from Harad, one from Lebennin. In 2011, for B2MEM, I tried expanding their story. Still trying to figure out how to do so successfully. Wanna help?

Comment:
Blee - tired!

But: Starlight, among other things, wrote:

Re: Jhanar's moment of strength

Yes, that is going to be hard. The only thing that occurs to me at the moment is that you find a way, somehow, to get him somewhere almost familiar where he can make a contribution, Now that they are in Pelargir, amongst other haradrim, could something happen that Jhanar figures out, etc.?

I don't think that would work unless Pelargir happened very differently. As it stands, Jhanar's at probably his worst moment, or close to it, in Pelargir, and it's partly because he's been very violently rejected by the traumatized Haradric survivors of that city.

Upon reflection, I think that to avoid affirming one class society's class-structure uncritically over the other's (which is more hidden, usually, in fanfiction), Jhanar needs to communicate (somehow!) to Ailos when he's ready to enter a different kind of relationship with him, where he's not taking the lower position, and not sacrificing himself for Ailos or anything of that sort. He needs to show that he's not in so desperate a situation, and that he's ready and able to assume a different relationship that's more appropriate to his being a dignified human being. Something like that.

I have no idea what would fit with that, however.

And now I'm going to go crash - it's been a long weekend!

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