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The Ailos and "Sunny" story - okay, now where?

By:Dwimordene
 June, 28 2011

In 2009, I wrote "Beyond the Pale," about two teenaged recruits who abandoned Pelargir. One was from Harad, one from Lebennin. In 2011, for B2MEM, I tried expanding their sto

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In 2009, I wrote "Beyond the Pale," about two teenaged recruits who abandoned Pelargir. One was from Harad, one from Lebennin. In 2011, for B2MEM, I tried expanding their story. Still trying to figure out how to do so successfully. Wanna help?


Comment:
At some point they would need to face some type of confrontation to then be able to earn redemption, whatever form that takes, not necessarily pardon. Maybe I am thinking too much along the archetype of the hero's journey where a final test/confrontation allows the hero to obtain the elixir/holy grail/etc. with which he returns to the world of the common day: a lesson.

Does that sound like a way you would like to take this?


I agree that there needs to be some turning point. I'm not sure that it has to be the hero's journey, though. In a lot of ways, I'm thinking this is more a story about failing to find that holy grail or what not, and yet somehow surviving despite that. It's about unearned relief and surprising companionship.

Or else it's about the lack of place in the world for people like Jhanar and Ailos and their relationship to each other, and them being Weilian Antigones: "Creons comment is perfectly reasonable: A foe is never a friend, not even in death. And the little simpleton can only reply: 'I was born to share, not hate, but love.' To which Creon, ever more reasonable: Pass, then, to the other world, and if thou must love, love those who dwell there."

Except without the self-awareness and the explicit authority figure killing them off (other than me, I guess).

Did I mention the lack of direction I suffer from when it comes to this story? ;-)

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