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November, 12 2005
OK, folks-this is the general forum now for questions that don't seem to fit in any of the other threads. I'm going to sort some of the earlier posts into the appropriate forums, but it might take a while, so bear with me. I'll delete the ones that have already been reposted by their authors.
The difference I see in her situation with Faramir vs. potentially Elrohir is that her blindness where Faramir was concerned was all unconscious, and Faramir was not actively pursuing her. She has actively considered Elrohirís Rediculous Oath at least a couple of times, and determined to keep him bound to it (no matter that itís ineffective, for either of them), and his interest in her is definitely obvious. It doesnít mean she isnít falling in love with him (and itís actually easier to deceive herself in this case because she can pretend all regard is friendship-love and hearts-ease), but I just mean that sheís consciously looked at it and rejected the idea vs. being all unaware.
I see her kidding herself there on a couple of different fronts:
1. She doesn't really understand just how much Elrohir likes her -- she still does these double takes every once in a while "can't believe this guy is with me." I think she sees his making the Ridiculous Oath to her as an inconsequential thing on his part that was easily made because there was zero chance he'd actually fall in love with her anyway. Part of the reason why I see her needing to get a stronger sense of her own worth.
And of course Elrohir has been encouraging her to view their relationship as temporary, so that would just reinforce her innate tendency to assume he's not something she can have. He's only partially pursuing her -- he's not offering her anything lasting.
2. I don't think that Hethlin has realized that she only allows herself to want things that she thinks are within her reach. She belatedly came to understand that she might have made a play for Faramir if she'd known she could be an appropriate choice of wife for him sooner, but I don't think she's ware that she's holding herself in check vis a vis Elrohir because she thinks he's unattainable. She doesn't want to embarrass herself with him, especially after the little speech she received from Aragorn about Dunedain women pining away for one or the other twin over the years.
And given their link, Hethlin has to be very careful about letting her mind stray at all into wishful thinking about what might be with Elrohir. I think she would be crushed if he looked at her with pity; she's quite afraid of that.
I think Hethlin will have passed a major milestone in emotional development when she starts to allow herself to want and pursue things that seem to be unattainable.
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